Referring to my past post...
June 20th 2003
It's been almost a whole year now... I should just let things go. Funny enough I still think about acting. In a way I'm glad that I've been able to do a different course and look at something at a different perspective. Throughout this whole year a lot has been hammering away at my brain. And sometimes when I'm drawing I'm happy just at getting something creative done. But is that moral of the artist to think that? I'm happy that I've drawn something so that must mean something. But I still love films and the potential of being famous or something. I guess thats a fool's dream.
Throughout this whole year, if anyone besides my wonderful Dean has been reading my posts (not that expect anyone to read everything of course) maybe you'd understand that it hasn't been easy.
I'm going to southampton university to do illustration. But I'm trying to tell myself it may not be the only thing I'll ever do. It's just say, a learning skill, about myself. I'm a drifter, a dreamer. Sometimes it's hard to focus, or when I do, I don't give myself enough credit or feel stupid. I don't know how that's happened but its come to the point where I sometimes draw for other people. Thing is, I don't mind that at all. There was a time I enjoyed it thoroughly and for myself. Since last year, my failing at uni has been hard. I've been trying to convince myself that it's got nothing to do with any hatred for acting. Just myself.
I hope I find that impassioned spirit in me again.
At any rate... I want to talk to Abby (worryfox) soon. About that friend of hers who's also an actress. Apparently this gal also does art. I'd love some advice from someone in that field. Maybe it'll help me. And also sort of bring some closure...
I know it's all down to what you love. But sometimes, it takes a great deal of strength to rise up to just accepting who you are, even if the first few pages of work you do seem ho humm-ish. It's a creative job... and thats why I brought up that link from two posts back. That meant something to me. ^^
Thank you for reading. Especially you dean_r. I love you.
Oh, and I haven't done this, but I'd like to welcome a good close friend of mine; lionessb Jennifer Medlock to LJ. She's a friend from deviantart.com and she's a fab artist. Hi Jen! ^^
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